Why More Women Are Scheduling "Solo Dates" for Pleasure

When Sarah*, a 28-year-old marketing manager from Brisbane, began her Friday night ritual, she felt nervous. She walked into the fancy restaurant alone. She had her favourite novel with her. 
She also wanted the tiramisu she saw on Instagram. She sat at a corner table. That was six months ago.

Now, those weekly self-pleasure dates for women have become sacred time. And it’s not just for dessert, but also for the intimate moments she carves out for herself at home.

Sarah's story shows a quiet revolution happening across Australia. Women are ditching the guilt around prioritising their own pleasure and embracing what researchers are calling "intentional intimacy”. In simple terms, it is a scheduled time dedicated entirely to one’s own sexual self-care.
It's not just happening in bedrooms. It starts with solo dates to galleries, cafés, and cinemas. Then, it flows into more intimate self-care practices.

The Real Stories Behind the Trend

"Every week, usually on a Tuesday, I finish work, cook dinner, take a shower, and get dressed. I bring a book or a notepad and take myself out," shares an Australian woman who created her own solo dating routine. "Dressing up for myself felt like the best way to show I was worth it."

This sentiment echoes through conversations happening in Melbourne coffee shops and Sydney wine bars. Women are discovering that the confidence built through solo dating translates beautifully into a solo sex routine. When you learn to enjoy your own company at dinner, celebrating your body's ability to feel pleasure comes next.

Take Emma*, a 34-year-old teacher from Perth, who started her "masturdating" journey during lockdown. "I'd always been the friend who needed someone else to go to exhibitions or try new restaurants," she explains. "But when everything reopened and I realised how much I'd enjoyed my own company, something clicked. If I could take myself to see a film, why couldn't I take myself to bed for pleasure?"

Beyond Shame: The Australian Shift

The numbers tell a compelling story of changing attitudes. Australian women masturbated an average of 85 times per year in 2023. This is an increase from 79 times in 2022.

More importantly, they are now talking about it in a different way. It's no longer whispered about like it’s something shameful. Instead, people discuss it with the same intentionality as they do meditation, sports, or exercise.

Dr. Casey Tanner, a certified sex therapist, says that having orgasms regularly can boost self-esteem. It can also improve sleep, relieve pain, and lead to a healthier life overall.

Today, Australian women are discovering this goes beyond clinical benefits. Women are discovering that self-pleasure is a way to practice radical self-love. In our culture, they often have to put others' needs first.

"We're calling time on sexual shame," explains one advocate for normalising female masturbation. "There's a growing movement... speaking out about the double standards applied to women when it comes to masturbation". This sudden change is very clear in Australia. Here, open views on sexual health have allowed these conversations to grow.

The Psychology of Solo Intimacy

Do you know what makes current trends different from previous ones?

Well, it’s the integration of emotional and physical self-care. Women aren't just masturbating, but they're creating rituals around sexual self-care that mirror their other wellness practices.

Lily, a friend who shared her solo dating experience, explains: "I like to take myself to the movies... It's primo alone time." This appreciation for solitary pleasure extends naturally into intimate self-care. "Taking myself out on solo dates is my favourite thing... The ability to be more present with myself and my thoughts" creates the perfect mindset for intimate exploration.

Research supports this connection. Women who practice self-pleasure report "lower levels of stress, anxiety, and better nights' sleep".

But the psychological benefits run deeper. As one Australian woman noted, solo dating "encourages me to be more carefree, possibly even more creative". These are qualities that enhance every aspect of self-care, including intimate wellness.

Creating Your Own Pleasure Ritual

Australian women in this movement share helpful advice for those who want to try solo sex as self-care. The key lies in approaching intimate time with the same focus & determination as any other wellness practice.

Start with the environment, suggests relationship expert insights from Australian sources. Good lighting, comfortable seating, and no phone distractions create the perfect conditions for intimate self-care. Many women report success with evening baths, weekend afternoon retreats, or early morning moments before their partners wake.

The ritual aspect proves crucial. "I adopted the same rules of a date by not spending any of it on my phone," shares one solo dating enthusiast. Apply this same principle to intimate time: create phone-free zones, light candles, and play music that makes you feel sensual. Transform routine self-care into genuine self-celebration.

Technology these days, is playing an increasingly supportive role in Australian women's sexual self-care routines. Apps now provide guided meditation, audio erotica, and wellness tracking. These tools help women explore their desires and track their sexual wellness journey. This digital support democratises access to resources previously unavailable or stigmatised.

The Confidence Connection

What's striking about women embracing solo pleasure routines is how it amplifies confidence in all areas of life. "The more dates I went on by myself, the more my confidence grew," explains one practitioner. "I started going to sporting matches and gigs alone without a second thought".

This boost in confidence extends to intimate relationships instead of moving away from them. Women who have a solo sex life often report better communication with their partners. They also have a clearer understanding of their desires and greater satisfaction in stable relationships.

One woman said, "Dating myself helped cure my loneliness." She found it also helped with sexual dissatisfaction.

Australian sex therapist insights suggest that women who understand their own pleasure are better partners. They can guide their partners and express their needs clearly. They can also approach intimacy without feeling pressured to rely completely on someone else for satisfaction.

The health benefits of women having self-pleasure extends far beyond the immediate pleasure. Masturbating regularly can help relieve menstrual cramps. It boosts endorphin release, which can ease pain.

It also improves sleep quality by increasing prolactin. Additionally, it can enhance mood by raising dopamine levels. For Australian women juggling demanding careers, family obligations, and social expectations, these aren't luxury benefits; they're essential wellness outcomes.

Researchers link female self-pleasure to lower stress and anxiety. It also helps improve sleep. This makes it a strong tool for managing the unique pressures that modern Australian women face."

Stress affects 71.9% of Australians. National studies also note relationship pressures. Sexual self-care provides a way to relieve stress and manage emotions.

The Future of Self-Love

Australia's sexual wellness market has grown to USD 431.5 million in 2024, and is expected to reach USD 643.5 million by 2033. It shows a shift toward prioritising pleasure. If we look beyond the market numbers, a real change is happening in bedrooms and bathrooms across the country. Women are creating their own rules about what healthy living means.

The solo sex routine is getting more popular thanks to its accessibility. You don’t need expensive spa treatments or fancy wellness retreats for self-care. All you need is privacy, time, and permission to care for yourself. An Australian advocate said the market is "finally listening to the needs of women, not just the porn industry."

"Now, when I see someone enjoying a nice date alone, I don't feel sorry for them. I just think they are confident," says one person who has embraced solo dating.

This same energy is transforming how Australian women are approaching intimate self-care. They now see it with pride and purpose. They understand that pleasure is not something to earn, but something to celebrate.

In today's world, women often feel they must focus on others. Taking time for personal pleasure is important.

It is both self-care and a social statement. Australian women are leading a quiet revolution, one solo date at a time. They show that the most important relationship is the one with yourself.

Read our other blogs on tip to improve pleasure and confidence in bed.